Every Madonna Studio Album, Ranked from Worst to Best (Part 2)

The second of three posts where I review every single Madonna record.

My journey through Madonna’s studio discography continues in this post, where I reveal my picks for the albums that fell just outside the Top 5 in my rankings. Strap in, ready your streaming app or browser tab, and let’s take a trip down memory lane together.

Two quick notes before I get started:

First, if you missed Part 1 in my Madonna discography ranking, make sure you get caught up on those reviews. Second, if you haven’t subscribed to this newsletter yet, you’re in for a treat if you do. Multiple posts focused on top-tier music, both past and present, hit your inbox multiple times a week—and it’s only one click away.

---

Avanti:

10. Like a Virgin (1984)

This one may be the least popular of all the album ranking decisions in this larger list, but let’s get into it.

Like MDNA and Hard Candy, the gulf between the highlights and filler is substantial on Like a Virgin. In some ways, it made good on the potential of Madonna’s terrific Sire debut. On the other hand, it’s a solid example of how quickly singer/songwriters can back themselves into a corner by simply running back formulas that worked the first time around.

The lead singles are ubiquitous oldies radio and nostalgia playlist entries for a reason. Say what you want about its inherent campiness, but there’s no denying that “Material Girl” is an 80s pop gem. So is “Like a Virgin,” pop cultural baggage aside. Although, even as I say that, can we agree that the song is tame to the point where I don’t fully understand what all the fuss was about back in the day? Were the Reagan days that puritanical? Were parents back then that afraid of young women being open about their sexuality? Let me know what I’m missing in the comments.

The real disappointment of Like a Virgin is its back half, which is thin on compelling material. She was still finding her voice and figuring out how to sustain that for an album’s worth of material, so it’s understandable. That said, I can’t co-sign the idea that this LP is a classic, a couple of exceptional hit songs aside. Had this been shorter and tighter, I would’ve almost certainly ranked it higher on my list.

9. Madame X (2019)

Is it too big a leap to call a Madonna record truly experimental? None of her work steps beyond the confines of pop music’s well-defined guardrails, changes in consumer taste notwithstanding. Putting that question aside, if you wanted to qualify “experimental” as integrating new tropes into the Madonna lexicon, you could call Madame X a departure.

Inspired by a trip to Portugal, this album is heavily inspired by popular hip-hop and pop production from Western Europe and South America. Maluma, Swae Lee, and a couple of other notable names lend their expertise, and while pleasant, those songs aren’t novel or unexpected. It’s all fine and occasionally exciting.

There are moments when Madonna reaches for grander statements. The kookiness of “Dark Ballet,” which is exactly what its title would lead you to believe, and the brooding “God Control” showcases her continued willingness to subvert expectations of what a Madonna song can or should sound like.

Unlike her other records released this century, Madame X lacks a strong thematic cohesiveness. Underneath all the vamping, those other releases explore a deceptively complex topic: what it means to be a female pop star in your 50s and 60s, including the romantic ups and downs and the pubic scrutiny that come with it. I never got the sense that Madame X was striving for that level of introspection.

Instead, there’s some semi-empty (read: privileged) political stance-taking. None of that will change your views on certain topics, but they exist, and I’ll give Madonna the benefit of the doubt by calling them earnest. Overall, it was a closer call than maybe I’m describing here, but ultimately, I wanted more from this one.

8. Music (2000)

You know when you walk through a shopping mall and see one of those massive Rube Goldberg machines standing several stories high, all gears and ball bearings and perfect, repeatable precision? When I was a kid, those used to impress me to no end. Even though I could see how everything worked, I marveled at its sheer mechanical brilliance.

This record impresses me in much the same way.

While I’m not sure, it packs as much substance into its running time as her best work, this album has turn-of-the-century style to spare. The eponymous lead single, one of the more effortless-sounding songs she’s ever released, serves as the record’s poster child, full of sharp synths, trippy vocoders, and a groove that feels like an android update of “Into the Groove.”

It’s far from the only highlight, either. “Nobody’s Perfect” is a surprisingly poignant ballad, and the closer “Gone” is more haunting than anything that made the cut for Ray of Light. Despite it not being recognized as such consistently, I’d argue that this LP was the last time Madonna took huge risks in the studio. As a result, it sounds much fresher than most of what she’s released since.

If nothing else, Music proves that, even when she’s at a creative crossroads, she still has the power to dazzle you.

7. Madonna (1983)

Beyond the listening portion, writing a discography ranking requires a lot of reading, mostly to fact-check behind-the-scenes stories and gauge the critical temperature of a particular album at the time. Sometimes, retrospective reviews can be helpful, although those tend to be reappraised through rose-colored glasses more often than not.

While combing through the archives for Madonna’s self-titled 1983 debut, I read a review claiming it “set the standard for dance-pop for the next 20 years.” I’m not entirely sure that’s the case, but it’s definitely one of the most confident, alluring arrival statements in pop music history. You can’t teach this kind of charisma or charm.

You know the hits. “Lucky Star,” “Holiday,” “Borderline”—all rightly considered pop classics. Of those three, “Lucky Star” has aged the best, bolstered by production that, with some light tweaking, could provide the backbone for a Dua Lipa single tomorrow. We’re talking about rock-solid synth-pop that still shimmers beautifully.

But the true standout here is “Burning Up.” It’s an incredibly catchy (if very 80s) cocktail of pop and rock that makes me wish Madonna had attempted a full-on rock or punk album a la Plastic Hearts. One can only hope she has one in her yet.

6. Rebel Heart (2015)

Time for a (probably) unanswerable question: Is this the best Madonna record no one knows about?

If you’re talking chronologically, Rebel Heart is the most compelling LP she’s put out in over a decade. It’s all the more impressive when you consider how much stylistic ground she covers, courtesy of an impressive gaggle of production talent. Big names like Diplo and Kanye West contribute to some of the record’s most impactful moments, with the latter’s “Illuminati” ranking among his spookiest instrumentals this side of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

Other highlights, like “Unapologetic Bitch” and “Body Shop,” work on the strength of Madonna’s sheer will and performance savvy. In lesser hands, they would’ve gone full camp (though I’m sure she wouldn’t have had a huge problem with that, either) and, in terms of a listening experience you can invest in, gone off the rails pretty quickly.

Throughout, there’s some genuine soul-searching going on, too. Madonna keeps circling back to questions of fulfillment and purpose despite owning one of pop music's most enviable success stories. And yet, insecurity lingers around every corner. Will I be loved? Can I still be taken seriously as an artist, a woman, a mother, a human being? Underneath the silliness, she wrestles with it all.

I won’t deny there’s some bloat to contend with here, but Rebel Hearts offers up some of the most affecting work she’s ever done, especially in the LP's first half.

---

Which ranking were you the most surprised by? Let me know in the comments.